Sevre & Belle Goats Cream Cheese

Sevre & Belle comes in like a hexagonaloid case and is French.
I like the case because it has a cartoon lady goat. She has blusher on and is wearing a spiffy green cardigan - she has been dressed by French Marks and Spencers I think.

The Cheese

It is a cream cheese what comes out of a goat. However, it does not do what some goat cheese does, like smack you in the tongue going "GOAT". It is gentle, subtle. Sophisticate.

This is a cream cheese, so it is for spreading more than gorging on chunk by chunk. I tried some of it acapella first, just on a teaspoon, and it is slight, creamy, with the barest hint of a sharp note, so I might have imagined it.

I tested it on both bread and toast. It spreads better on toast, but is fine on bread, unless you is eating that shit stuff that comes in plastic and falls apart when you poke it.

The texture as you take some out with a knife is almost fluffy, and white as God's pyjamas. When you spread it, it smooths out lovely.

Cream cheeses what have been made from cow milking sometimes have a bit of a heavy, dairy aftertaste. This don't. It's superbly light and doesn't generate any weird runny liquid like the other kind neither.

I am much impressed with it, and it is another reason why people should experiment with other udders.

Emmental

It's Christmas! Yay!

So this is a Quick Christmastime Cheese Commentary.

I have aten some Emmental. First I took it orally at room temperature. I had it neat.

It is like rubber but tasted less interesting.

I then melted it between two tortillas, making a kind of spartan quesadilla, only Swiss.

Melting Emmental makes it edible.

Nanny Williams Blue Goats Cheese

I have ate new cheese!

Nanny Williams is a blue cheese made from goat lactation. It is a heavily marbled, thoroughly veined cheese with a dark rind. It is totally gnarly, with a fairly pungent aroma that carries the promise of its sharp, rich flavour.

Nanny Williams is handmade by Ness and Gwyn Williams, at the Loosehanger farmhouse in Wiltshire.
http://www.cheeseproducer.com/

The cheese what they make comes out as milk from the teats of Willowbrook Goats.

Image used comes from the WillowbrookPark blog, www.willowbrookpark.blogspot.com - used without permission - go check out their blog if you want to look at more goats.

I enjoyed the experience of eating Nanny Williams cheese. It goes good with types of preserves what are sharp and sweet. I ate some with chicken livers fried in sherry, served in a bit of baguette spread thin with some plum and rhubarb jam.

If that sounds lovely to you, I is want you to be my friend.

If that sounds horribly to you, I sadly suggest we go our separate ways, as I will be eating at different tables from the ones what you will be eating at.

THE TASTE

The taste is strong. If you don't like goats cheese, or blue cheese, then you won't like this at all probably. Its gnarly looking rind and strength of flavour will probably make you cry.

I like both blue and goats cheese, and I confess that I found it bestest to eat the cheese in small, tasty pieces. This isn't one of those "cut out a blinking great wedge and shove it in a folded bread, pretending you own a plough kind of cheeses". IT IS NOT CHEDDAR.

It is good though, as well as being a sensational experience. There's a high pitch note of flavour running through, that is approximately this colour with a touch of salt to it. Underneath that is the rolling spirals and curlicues of blue cheese flavour, and the swells of taste in it are big and well-weathered, like a much used wheel on a cart. At the bottom is a base of cream that sits quiet until the fireworks are over.


I recommend Nanny Williams to adventurous cheese novices, though this is a challenge too far, me suspects, for the babybells. Try a dairy-lea lunchable or a cheesestring instead. It's not a real cheese, but then, you're not a real man. Or woman. Or whatever you be.

In all seriousness, though, twibble blipple saddle nipple.

Recipes What I Have Cooked and Then Ate - Thaichinamese Salmon

Thaichinamese Salmon

I actually did this photopicture! I used my potato.

This meal is nutritio-licious. That's a word what I made up just for this dish. It is a sort of panfried, pan-Southeast-Asian fish dish.

What You Put In It

Salmon fillets (1 big one or 2 smalls - I use frozen as they can do less brutal to the money)

1 shallot, chopped fine

2 cloves of garlic, cored and chopped fine

1/2 a red bell pepper, in short thin slices

1 large red chili-pepper, de-seeded (if you don't de-seed it, you might have to shoot yourself)

Fresh ginger (a good knob of, sliced thin)

Fresh coriander (to taste)

Olive oil (a few teaspoons of)

Garam Masala powder (a few shakes of)

1/4 pint of Milk (from a coconut or from a cow)

How You Do The Food (serves 1 - use more of everything to feed more people)

Put the olive oil in the pan and make it warm. Turn on a middle-heat, olive oil doesn't like hot heat.

Put in the chopped garlic, shallot, chili and fresh ginger, and give it a bit of sizzle time. You don't want it to go brown though.

Put in salmon and swish it about in the juices and bits. Straight away, add the sliced red bell pepper. Sprinkle the garam masala on top. If you can't find garam masala, look for coriander powder and cardamon pods.

Fish is well easy to cook. Basically, as soon as it be more than a bit warm, it's cooked. Give it a few minutes on both sides, don't be a wet-molly.

Pour in the milk. Coconut milk be more proper like, but the stuff that you squeeze out of cows will do the job. Turn the heat low, you don't want to boil the milk. Or maybe you do, but that would make you a dick with no morals. Basically a kitten-killer. Don't boil the milk, alright?

Chuck in roughly a third of your fresh coriander, recklessly chopped.

Give it another few minutes until all the face-smacking luvverly flavours are making the milk pregnant with the yums.

Read that sentence again, it's worth it.

Take off the heat and pretend you're in one of them subtitled martial-arts films for a few seconds. Make strange faces. Punch the air and pretend you're six.


Serve in a bowl, more fresh coriander on top. This time, chop it with debonair flair. A squeeze of lime juice is an optional extra.

Drink something alcoholic and refreshing with it. I like Hooch at the moment. It's lemony.


Suggested watching material: Jackie Chan films. Films what have Takeshi Kaneshiro in (he's part Taiwanese and all hunk). Good Morning Vietnam!

Yarg.

A blog about one of my favourite cheeses.

Praise Cheeses!

The yarg cheese is one of my faves cos it is a little bit odd, like myself. You get the impression that the yarg could be that one at the party what sits in the corner talking to the host's cat, wearing a wooly jumper that will be hipster fashion in a few months but isn't yet.

Yarg is wrapped in nettles. They can't sting you though, cos they've gone all mouldy and delicious! I eat the nettles - some don't, but this is a case where the rind is edible, so it's up to you.

Yarg is Cornish. That is, the cheese is Cornish. It ain't some Cornish word dredged up from the misty past of Cornwall where they all wore paint and did naked stuff at Romans. It's not an ancient dialect word or nothing.

It's just "Gray" backwards. Yarg was made up by Allan and Jenny Gray, which makes them Dairy Heroes, God Bless Them, and may their cheeseboard forever be stocked and their fridge have jam in it. Like a lot of very awesome stuff, Yarg is from the Nineteen-Seventies. Eat Yarg while listening to Led Zeppelin's later stuff, or The Rise and Fall of Ziggy Stardust and the Spiders From Mars what is by David Bowie.

Yarg almost makes up for the Vietnam war but not quite.

 Above is a picture of Yarg. I did not take the picture. If you did, thank you for taking the picture, may I please keep showing it to the internet people? Otherwise I will be sad, but I will take it down.

The Important Bit

The taste! What does the yarg taste like, I hear you ask? (I don't really, as you're on the internet and I'm not psychic, I'm just being conversational and friendly, to give the illusion that what we is having here is dialogue, rather than the inept ravings of a cheese-loving lunatic with issues.)

Yarg tastes lovely and characterful, with a creamy, nutty flavour, especially where it is soft near the rind, and an undercurrent of tang. The centre of the cheese is like Caerphilly a bit, in that it is dryer and crumbly. It's sweet tangy nutty creamy and most of all I'd call it balanced. It is like the high-rope-walker of the cheese world. Very easy for a cheese-novice to eat and enjoy, even if the nettles seem a bit intimidating at first.

Eat some, cheese-bitches!

Recipes What I Have Cooked and Then Ate - Spicy Sausage Stew

Spicy Sausage Stew

 

This ain't my one. This is a cheat one. I need to buy a camera.

 

This is the first in a series of Recipes What I Have Cooked and Then Ate.

This tastyful meal is wet and cheap, like a Scottish Otter. It is also warming and delicious, perfect for winter evenings, when the weather is cold and that.

On the other hand, eat it in the summer because it's fuckin delicious!

(This is the summer version. Winter one adds potato and carrot.)

What You Put In It

6(ish) Sausages, (any variety are dandy, I use Irish)
1 Onion, ring-sliced
1 can of mixed beans (berlotti, cannelini, adzuki, kidney - all are good and fibrous. Ordinary baked beans can be used.)

1 can of chopped tomatoes
3 cloves of garlic, fine-sliced
1 large leaf of Savoy cabbage (or any cabbage really)

1 beef stock cube

Provençale herbs (thyme, basil, savory, fennel - dried is dandy)

Cayenne pepper, to taste (sprinkled liberally is my taste, goes for all of these)
Black pepper, to taste
Chili powder, to taste
Ground cumin, to taste
Ground ginger, to taste
Ground cinnamon (a smidgeon)

How You Do The Food (serves 2 large people or 3-4 small ones)

Thrust the sausages in an oven at 150°C for fifteen minutes to firm up (longer if from frozen). This does keep the units of tubular flesh-mince from desintegrating once it enjoins with the stew.

Sauté the onion (sauté means jump it about in a hot oiled saucepan) until the onion goes a bit see-throughy

Add sliced garlic. Do this just before the next bit, so they doesn't burn. Burnt garlic is an allium war-crime.

Pour in the chopped tomatoes and mixed beans, stir together to ensure cross-contamination.

Take a moment as it gets bubbly to sing some catchy pop and have a drink. (Finnish symphonic metal also acceptable, I usually does my food to Nightwish)

Crumble in the beef stock cube. This will give the stew a deep, soulful voice and a chest medallion.

Take the sausages out of the oven and drain of any fat. Cut into mini-bites. Add to the stew!

Stir in all of the spices and herbs.

Put the saucepan's hat on and simmer on a mid-low heat for twenty minutes, stirring occasionally.

Low heat. Tear up the savoy cabbage leaf small and stir in for ten more minutes. I like it crunchy for texture.

Taste with a teaspoon and lots of blowing.

Re-season to taste (cayenne, salt, pepper)

Serve in big bowls. Drink apple juice to go with, or also can work with hard alcohol type drinks.

Eat with a spoon. Don't waste the precious juices!


When you eats the food, you should watch a show or a film, but not Dexter or Animal Hospital or Silent Hill.
Also, avoid shows like Britain's Got Talent or the Y Factor. These are not compatible with the stew. Or with a full and healthy life, like what you should be living, dear reader.

Enjoy! 

Restaurants What I Have Ate At - 1 - J.D. Young Hotel Restaurant, Harleston

I Have Ate At A Restaurant

The restaurant what I have ate at recently is called J.D. Young Hotel Restaurant, in Harleston, Norfolk. The name is the worst thing about the restaurant, as absolutely everything else is frighteningly spiffing. Really, it is a dreadfully boring name that seems to serve as a kind of "ooh look at me" - what I call self-aggrandisement - and this J.D. Young should look long and hard at himself and reassess his life.

The food is excellent.

The Food What I Ate

The food what I ate was a burger from the bar menu. But wait, this were no simple burger, oh no. This were not like the shoe-tongue what you get in leather shoes that they serve in McDonald's between pieces of disappointment. This was not just a wedge of ground moo-flesh what like you have in thick frozen burgers.

This was the God of Burgers and I consumed it in the manner of a beefy Sacrament. Hungry angels sang and my gastrogasm nearly killed me. After I had stopped groaning, and my uncontrollable food-spasms came to an end, I was able to control my breathing long enough to say "Phwoar what a good burger this is what I am eating!"

Believe me, this burger is Hyperion unto a satyr, where the satyr is all other burgers. (That is a Greek mythology reference by way of Hamlet. Hamlet contains no pork, which is misleading.) The name of the burger what was on the menu was something like "J.D. Young Steak Burger" which is more evidence of the rampaging megalomania of this J.D. Young character, but also evidence of the fact that the burger was made with steak mince. In particular, the steak mince what it was made of is Aberdeen Angus, and this was the properly aged stuff, not the cheapo beefmeat what they sell to Burger King.

The meat had a proper aged colouration, and was seasoned perfectly, with no other additions to its glory. It was thick like the thigh of a big Welsh rugby player, only not hairy, and of Scottish extraction. And of course not quite that big, though it was big. I had to cut it in half to eat it without being a sarlaac out of Star Wars.

There was fresh tomato slices with a fresh tomato relish what was lovely, and I hate tomato relish. This one I loved erotically. The bread was a ciabatta roll - which is sometimes a cliche in posh burger terms, but was perfect for soaking up the mighty juice of the burger. There was a bacon and a cheese on top of it, (cheddar, see my regular cheese blog posts) and there were two sliced dill pickles, though these were optional on top of the burger bread. This is thoughtful, as some plebs don't like dill pickles, and though they are wrong, it is nice that J.D. Young is so considerate, even if he is a narcissist.

It came with a little basket of hand-cut chips, what were crispy and tasty outside and were soft and fluffy inside, like an advert for chips only not lies from the devil.

My wife had gravy for her shepherds pie which was also good, and I had some of her gravy on my chips and it was a religious experience. I am a better man for it.

The burger is expensive as burgers go, though for a gourmet pub meal it was reasonable at £10 and change. The chips were filling and the burger was proper big.

I did not take a picture of the burger as that would have stolen its soul and also I did not know I would be writing a blog about food what I have eaten. If you like, you can go on the internets and type into google "nice burger picture" and pretend it is the burger what I ate.

Even better, go to the restaurant in Harleston, Norfolk. Do it. Do it now.

There is more stuff in Harleston. I will do a Harleston special soon.

  

I Have Ate Some Cheese

Dear reader,

It was my ambition as an avowed eccentric to make this an avant-garde exploration of the world of cow-fudge, a kind of Dante's Descent into Dairy, or like something what Voltaire might have wrote, only with more lactose.

Naturally, I realised that such an intellectual approach to the world of compacted curd would likely make this  study of bovine bounty inaccessible. That's the last thing I want. I'm a pleb-friendly food-blogger, and I try not to overuse hyphens or hyperbole.

With that in mind, let's get down to the creamy goodness!

Some of this here is figs. Figs is not cheese.

 Cheese is good unless you're a vegan
A quick note: Vegans don't eat cheese what has come out of cows and sheep and goats and that. So this blog might not be for you if you are a vegan. I'm not discriminating or nothing, feel free to stick around if you're a conscientious objector where animal food is concerned, but just want to read my witty whimsies. You're welcome. I will do some blog about nuts and stuff soon.

Cheeses What I Have Ate
This first bit is lists. I notice the internets like lists, though usually those are ranked lists. I will not be doing best and worst lists because I am not a dairy fascist. All cheeses are different but equal, as taste varies, and one person's Stinking Bishop is another person's Dear God Please Kill Me Now.

The only exception is American cheese, what like comes in a can or in plastic squares for humiliating burgers with. This is not cheese. That is in fact an abomination from Satan's very udders.

Most of the cheeses what I have ate are from Europe. This is not because I am some kind of cheese racist. If you want to send me some cheese from your foreign land, that will survive the journey without becoming sentient and furry, or melting into something that resembles the brain of a tabloid reader, then please do. Contact me for an address, and I will do a special review of your foreign cow/goat/sheep/yak/cat squeezings.

English Cheeses What I Have Ate
(I will post my reviews of the individual cheeses when I get around to it)

Brie - the English version, usually from Somerset

Caerphilly - Cymric (that means Welsh) crumbly and mild with a light tangyness

Cheddar - firm and popular.

Cheshire - from Cheshire. White, crumbly, tangy.

Double Gloucester - semi-hard (no jokes please) savoury and yellow

Yorkshire Fettle - a Yorkshire version of Feta, but better. Sheeps.

Red Leicester - like a cheddar but reddish

Wensleydale - firm and often packed with fruit, or nuts (Like what Wallace and Gromit ate)

White Stilton - ....

Stilton - like White Stilton only blue and proper. Rich and complex and tangy. A favourite.

Suffolk Gold - Firm, dark yellow, rich with a sweet nutty taste

Yarg - Cornish. Pale with a firm, accessible flavour, mild to medium, wrapped in nettles


Obviously there are loads more what I have not ate but this blog is about what I have ate.


French Cheeses What I Have Ate

Brie - the common whore of French cheese what is very nice and soft with a white rind, gooey when mature

Camembert de Normandie - the cheese what you get in its own wood basket for melting and dipping stuff in

Chevre - this is a goats cheese and is good and classic goats cheese. Sharp, clean, soft and white.

Gruyere - Swiss as well as French, I guess they shares it. Hard, yellow, melty in fondue. Taste varies.

Roquefort - semi-hard, but you can squish it with a fist. Blue cheese, sharp, tangy, smoky. Sheeps.


I needs to eat more cheeses what are French. If you are French, send me some cheese please.


Spanish Cheeses What I Have Ate

Queso Manchego - made from Manchego ewes milk. Firm and buttery. Medium strength. Sheepy.


I have not yet ate any other Spanish cheeses. Help me.



I have also eaten Mozzarella, which is from Italy and is made of Buffalo milk, though there is a Devonshire variety. Mozarella is dense and moist and you can pull it in wet bits. When hot it goes all stretchy like chewing gum but nicer. Goes on pizza.

I have also eaten Cambozola, which is German, but sounds like a footballer. It is like Brie but with blue in it.

I have eaten English goats cheese too, but I cannot remember the names. The quality varies, but I like goats cheese.

I will update this blog after I have ate more cheese and done reviews and stuff.