Restaurants What I Have Ate At - 1 - J.D. Young Hotel Restaurant, Harleston

I Have Ate At A Restaurant

The restaurant what I have ate at recently is called J.D. Young Hotel Restaurant, in Harleston, Norfolk. The name is the worst thing about the restaurant, as absolutely everything else is frighteningly spiffing. Really, it is a dreadfully boring name that seems to serve as a kind of "ooh look at me" - what I call self-aggrandisement - and this J.D. Young should look long and hard at himself and reassess his life.

The food is excellent.

The Food What I Ate

The food what I ate was a burger from the bar menu. But wait, this were no simple burger, oh no. This were not like the shoe-tongue what you get in leather shoes that they serve in McDonald's between pieces of disappointment. This was not just a wedge of ground moo-flesh what like you have in thick frozen burgers.

This was the God of Burgers and I consumed it in the manner of a beefy Sacrament. Hungry angels sang and my gastrogasm nearly killed me. After I had stopped groaning, and my uncontrollable food-spasms came to an end, I was able to control my breathing long enough to say "Phwoar what a good burger this is what I am eating!"

Believe me, this burger is Hyperion unto a satyr, where the satyr is all other burgers. (That is a Greek mythology reference by way of Hamlet. Hamlet contains no pork, which is misleading.) The name of the burger what was on the menu was something like "J.D. Young Steak Burger" which is more evidence of the rampaging megalomania of this J.D. Young character, but also evidence of the fact that the burger was made with steak mince. In particular, the steak mince what it was made of is Aberdeen Angus, and this was the properly aged stuff, not the cheapo beefmeat what they sell to Burger King.

The meat had a proper aged colouration, and was seasoned perfectly, with no other additions to its glory. It was thick like the thigh of a big Welsh rugby player, only not hairy, and of Scottish extraction. And of course not quite that big, though it was big. I had to cut it in half to eat it without being a sarlaac out of Star Wars.

There was fresh tomato slices with a fresh tomato relish what was lovely, and I hate tomato relish. This one I loved erotically. The bread was a ciabatta roll - which is sometimes a cliche in posh burger terms, but was perfect for soaking up the mighty juice of the burger. There was a bacon and a cheese on top of it, (cheddar, see my regular cheese blog posts) and there were two sliced dill pickles, though these were optional on top of the burger bread. This is thoughtful, as some plebs don't like dill pickles, and though they are wrong, it is nice that J.D. Young is so considerate, even if he is a narcissist.

It came with a little basket of hand-cut chips, what were crispy and tasty outside and were soft and fluffy inside, like an advert for chips only not lies from the devil.

My wife had gravy for her shepherds pie which was also good, and I had some of her gravy on my chips and it was a religious experience. I am a better man for it.

The burger is expensive as burgers go, though for a gourmet pub meal it was reasonable at £10 and change. The chips were filling and the burger was proper big.

I did not take a picture of the burger as that would have stolen its soul and also I did not know I would be writing a blog about food what I have eaten. If you like, you can go on the internets and type into google "nice burger picture" and pretend it is the burger what I ate.

Even better, go to the restaurant in Harleston, Norfolk. Do it. Do it now.

There is more stuff in Harleston. I will do a Harleston special soon.