Recipes What I Have Cooked and Then Ate - Spicy Sausage Stew

Spicy Sausage Stew

 

This ain't my one. This is a cheat one. I need to buy a camera.

 

This is the first in a series of Recipes What I Have Cooked and Then Ate.

This tastyful meal is wet and cheap, like a Scottish Otter. It is also warming and delicious, perfect for winter evenings, when the weather is cold and that.

On the other hand, eat it in the summer because it's fuckin delicious!

(This is the summer version. Winter one adds potato and carrot.)

What You Put In It

6(ish) Sausages, (any variety are dandy, I use Irish)
1 Onion, ring-sliced
1 can of mixed beans (berlotti, cannelini, adzuki, kidney - all are good and fibrous. Ordinary baked beans can be used.)

1 can of chopped tomatoes
3 cloves of garlic, fine-sliced
1 large leaf of Savoy cabbage (or any cabbage really)

1 beef stock cube

Provençale herbs (thyme, basil, savory, fennel - dried is dandy)

Cayenne pepper, to taste (sprinkled liberally is my taste, goes for all of these)
Black pepper, to taste
Chili powder, to taste
Ground cumin, to taste
Ground ginger, to taste
Ground cinnamon (a smidgeon)

How You Do The Food (serves 2 large people or 3-4 small ones)

Thrust the sausages in an oven at 150°C for fifteen minutes to firm up (longer if from frozen). This does keep the units of tubular flesh-mince from desintegrating once it enjoins with the stew.

Sauté the onion (sauté means jump it about in a hot oiled saucepan) until the onion goes a bit see-throughy

Add sliced garlic. Do this just before the next bit, so they doesn't burn. Burnt garlic is an allium war-crime.

Pour in the chopped tomatoes and mixed beans, stir together to ensure cross-contamination.

Take a moment as it gets bubbly to sing some catchy pop and have a drink. (Finnish symphonic metal also acceptable, I usually does my food to Nightwish)

Crumble in the beef stock cube. This will give the stew a deep, soulful voice and a chest medallion.

Take the sausages out of the oven and drain of any fat. Cut into mini-bites. Add to the stew!

Stir in all of the spices and herbs.

Put the saucepan's hat on and simmer on a mid-low heat for twenty minutes, stirring occasionally.

Low heat. Tear up the savoy cabbage leaf small and stir in for ten more minutes. I like it crunchy for texture.

Taste with a teaspoon and lots of blowing.

Re-season to taste (cayenne, salt, pepper)

Serve in big bowls. Drink apple juice to go with, or also can work with hard alcohol type drinks.

Eat with a spoon. Don't waste the precious juices!


When you eats the food, you should watch a show or a film, but not Dexter or Animal Hospital or Silent Hill.
Also, avoid shows like Britain's Got Talent or the Y Factor. These are not compatible with the stew. Or with a full and healthy life, like what you should be living, dear reader.

Enjoy! 

Restaurants What I Have Ate At - 1 - J.D. Young Hotel Restaurant, Harleston

I Have Ate At A Restaurant

The restaurant what I have ate at recently is called J.D. Young Hotel Restaurant, in Harleston, Norfolk. The name is the worst thing about the restaurant, as absolutely everything else is frighteningly spiffing. Really, it is a dreadfully boring name that seems to serve as a kind of "ooh look at me" - what I call self-aggrandisement - and this J.D. Young should look long and hard at himself and reassess his life.

The food is excellent.

The Food What I Ate

The food what I ate was a burger from the bar menu. But wait, this were no simple burger, oh no. This were not like the shoe-tongue what you get in leather shoes that they serve in McDonald's between pieces of disappointment. This was not just a wedge of ground moo-flesh what like you have in thick frozen burgers.

This was the God of Burgers and I consumed it in the manner of a beefy Sacrament. Hungry angels sang and my gastrogasm nearly killed me. After I had stopped groaning, and my uncontrollable food-spasms came to an end, I was able to control my breathing long enough to say "Phwoar what a good burger this is what I am eating!"

Believe me, this burger is Hyperion unto a satyr, where the satyr is all other burgers. (That is a Greek mythology reference by way of Hamlet. Hamlet contains no pork, which is misleading.) The name of the burger what was on the menu was something like "J.D. Young Steak Burger" which is more evidence of the rampaging megalomania of this J.D. Young character, but also evidence of the fact that the burger was made with steak mince. In particular, the steak mince what it was made of is Aberdeen Angus, and this was the properly aged stuff, not the cheapo beefmeat what they sell to Burger King.

The meat had a proper aged colouration, and was seasoned perfectly, with no other additions to its glory. It was thick like the thigh of a big Welsh rugby player, only not hairy, and of Scottish extraction. And of course not quite that big, though it was big. I had to cut it in half to eat it without being a sarlaac out of Star Wars.

There was fresh tomato slices with a fresh tomato relish what was lovely, and I hate tomato relish. This one I loved erotically. The bread was a ciabatta roll - which is sometimes a cliche in posh burger terms, but was perfect for soaking up the mighty juice of the burger. There was a bacon and a cheese on top of it, (cheddar, see my regular cheese blog posts) and there were two sliced dill pickles, though these were optional on top of the burger bread. This is thoughtful, as some plebs don't like dill pickles, and though they are wrong, it is nice that J.D. Young is so considerate, even if he is a narcissist.

It came with a little basket of hand-cut chips, what were crispy and tasty outside and were soft and fluffy inside, like an advert for chips only not lies from the devil.

My wife had gravy for her shepherds pie which was also good, and I had some of her gravy on my chips and it was a religious experience. I am a better man for it.

The burger is expensive as burgers go, though for a gourmet pub meal it was reasonable at £10 and change. The chips were filling and the burger was proper big.

I did not take a picture of the burger as that would have stolen its soul and also I did not know I would be writing a blog about food what I have eaten. If you like, you can go on the internets and type into google "nice burger picture" and pretend it is the burger what I ate.

Even better, go to the restaurant in Harleston, Norfolk. Do it. Do it now.

There is more stuff in Harleston. I will do a Harleston special soon.

  

I Have Ate Some Cheese

Dear reader,

It was my ambition as an avowed eccentric to make this an avant-garde exploration of the world of cow-fudge, a kind of Dante's Descent into Dairy, or like something what Voltaire might have wrote, only with more lactose.

Naturally, I realised that such an intellectual approach to the world of compacted curd would likely make this  study of bovine bounty inaccessible. That's the last thing I want. I'm a pleb-friendly food-blogger, and I try not to overuse hyphens or hyperbole.

With that in mind, let's get down to the creamy goodness!

Some of this here is figs. Figs is not cheese.

 Cheese is good unless you're a vegan
A quick note: Vegans don't eat cheese what has come out of cows and sheep and goats and that. So this blog might not be for you if you are a vegan. I'm not discriminating or nothing, feel free to stick around if you're a conscientious objector where animal food is concerned, but just want to read my witty whimsies. You're welcome. I will do some blog about nuts and stuff soon.

Cheeses What I Have Ate
This first bit is lists. I notice the internets like lists, though usually those are ranked lists. I will not be doing best and worst lists because I am not a dairy fascist. All cheeses are different but equal, as taste varies, and one person's Stinking Bishop is another person's Dear God Please Kill Me Now.

The only exception is American cheese, what like comes in a can or in plastic squares for humiliating burgers with. This is not cheese. That is in fact an abomination from Satan's very udders.

Most of the cheeses what I have ate are from Europe. This is not because I am some kind of cheese racist. If you want to send me some cheese from your foreign land, that will survive the journey without becoming sentient and furry, or melting into something that resembles the brain of a tabloid reader, then please do. Contact me for an address, and I will do a special review of your foreign cow/goat/sheep/yak/cat squeezings.

English Cheeses What I Have Ate
(I will post my reviews of the individual cheeses when I get around to it)

Brie - the English version, usually from Somerset

Caerphilly - Cymric (that means Welsh) crumbly and mild with a light tangyness

Cheddar - firm and popular.

Cheshire - from Cheshire. White, crumbly, tangy.

Double Gloucester - semi-hard (no jokes please) savoury and yellow

Yorkshire Fettle - a Yorkshire version of Feta, but better. Sheeps.

Red Leicester - like a cheddar but reddish

Wensleydale - firm and often packed with fruit, or nuts (Like what Wallace and Gromit ate)

White Stilton - ....

Stilton - like White Stilton only blue and proper. Rich and complex and tangy. A favourite.

Suffolk Gold - Firm, dark yellow, rich with a sweet nutty taste

Yarg - Cornish. Pale with a firm, accessible flavour, mild to medium, wrapped in nettles


Obviously there are loads more what I have not ate but this blog is about what I have ate.


French Cheeses What I Have Ate

Brie - the common whore of French cheese what is very nice and soft with a white rind, gooey when mature

Camembert de Normandie - the cheese what you get in its own wood basket for melting and dipping stuff in

Chevre - this is a goats cheese and is good and classic goats cheese. Sharp, clean, soft and white.

Gruyere - Swiss as well as French, I guess they shares it. Hard, yellow, melty in fondue. Taste varies.

Roquefort - semi-hard, but you can squish it with a fist. Blue cheese, sharp, tangy, smoky. Sheeps.


I needs to eat more cheeses what are French. If you are French, send me some cheese please.


Spanish Cheeses What I Have Ate

Queso Manchego - made from Manchego ewes milk. Firm and buttery. Medium strength. Sheepy.


I have not yet ate any other Spanish cheeses. Help me.



I have also eaten Mozzarella, which is from Italy and is made of Buffalo milk, though there is a Devonshire variety. Mozarella is dense and moist and you can pull it in wet bits. When hot it goes all stretchy like chewing gum but nicer. Goes on pizza.

I have also eaten Cambozola, which is German, but sounds like a footballer. It is like Brie but with blue in it.

I have eaten English goats cheese too, but I cannot remember the names. The quality varies, but I like goats cheese.

I will update this blog after I have ate more cheese and done reviews and stuff.